Mike, I'm confused. Is Sgt
Mac's Bar a real bar where people go to socialize, drink and be
entertained? I thought it was just your email address. Duh.
Where is it located? Are you the bartender and Jill the barmaid?
So, you really had a popular band
entertain at your bar? Heck, yeah, Ricky Martin at the CCT reunion in
November is okay with me. (I think I know who he might be)
I'm
sorry, guess I am a little naïve. See you in November.
Sherry Fresques P.S.
You are very welcome anytime to come stay with us in Yuma
to drink Coronas and Fat Tire! You bring the entertainment!
Sherry, you make my day. Many of you may have known Jeremy and Sherry
is his mom who many of you will meet at this year’s reunion in November. Special thanks to Frankie Rodriguez and the
AST boys for their visits to Nick and Sherry’s when in Yuma.
Back to Sherry’s question, which
is really hard to answer; “Is SgtMacsBar a real bar?” I’ll try to answer it as simply as possible,
but if you come to the SgtMacsBar Open House & Fun
Raiser you can find your own answers……
It all started back
in 1988 when I was abducted into a secret government organization. They cut all my ties to the military and I
went into deep cover. Of course, you
can’t repeat any of this, I don’t think I’m even supposed to know but as I’m
losing my memory, it’s all coming back to me.
There was this group called the Davidians headed by a
suspected terrorist named David Koresh. I
joined the group and eventually became one of Dave’s “inner circle” and was
allowed to have three wives and seven mistresses. This pretty well kept me busy and life was
good.
Dave was all about indoctrinating pretty young girls into
seeing God and he was God. I thought he
had a pretty good racket going and then it all fell through when I found out
his plans. The Feds were right, the SOB
was a damned terrorist and you were his target.
His mission was to take out the CCT at JSOC and the plan was
diabolical, Dave was evil, but a real genius.
The guys didn’t stand a chance and I was their only help. I alerted the Feds, but you know how they
goofed it up.
I told them I’d take care of it, but they wanted the news
coverage, something about the President needing a boost in his ratings. Politics and war just don’t work. So anyway, the Feds screw up and the standoff
is starting to take a toll on everyone.
Dave was planning on giving up my last wife for some food and
I only had two girlfriends left. I went
to the back room for an attitude adjustment and I guess when I tossed it, it
landed in the trash can. Next thing I
know, there was a fire, so I just split.
Dave and his cronies perished in
the fire and I was able to save my last wife, Jill.
I let the Feds in and they
played it out for the media, and everyone was happy……
A disaster was averted and I was hooked up to a bunch of
machines and wires for therapy. They
gave me a lot of pills and told me to be a Bartender. I was
OK for a while, but then the memories started coming back. They really bugged me until I realized I was
undercover and saved JSOC.
The big plan was to disable JSOC and they were going to use
the CCT to accomplish the mission, diabolical.
Dave was recruiting young women, brain washing them, and then
inseminating them with the Giant Killer Spirochete gene, making them a carrier. The women were going to be released on the
JSOC CCT, who would not be able to resist these young beauties and within hours
all the CCT would be infected with Giant Killer Spirochetes, diabolical.
The Giant Killer Spirochetes hibernate for three days and
then you’re gone, there is no antidote.
The CCT would have mated with all JSOC employees and their wives …… JSOC
would be wiped out within days and with the promiscuity of Delta and the SEALS all
Special Forces would have been wiped out within weeks, diabolical.
According to the scientist, the infected CCT would have
caused world extermination within 145 days.
Thank goodness the Giant Killer Spirochete gene and the carriers were
all destroyed in the fire, saving the world. You won’t see this in the news!
Just another mission the world will never know about, but
you sleep safe in your bed because
rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence to those who mean you harm!
The only reference
you’ll ever find to this mission is a small Federal Law; XX-x-x-XxX that’s so
classified the computer x’s it out every time I write it. It allows SgtMacsBar to be a not for profit
tax free organization, however there’s a lot of rules I have to follow.
So, is SgtMacsBar
really a bar? I’m not sure because of
the rules I have to follow, but let me tell you a few things about SgtMacsBar
that may help answer the question.
Columbia is a
government dumping ground and there’s a lot of people like me around here, so
we’re considered normal. I’m allowed to
have my bar to make a living, but because I’m not for profit, I can’t make any
money. I enjoy running the bar and being
the Bartender, but don’t know what I’m going to do for a living when I
retire. The problems I have to cope
with.
Because the bar’s at 2500 Hillshire
Drive, city code requires the building to be
occupied 24/7, so Jill and I set up house and live upstairs. It can get pretty loud at times, but I just
turn the TV up and the noise disappears.
I found that watching the Simpsons works best.
So I have this bar downstairs and Columbia
passed the “No Smoking Anywhere Law” and I had to move some of the bar outside
to keep the smokers. I built a few decks
and put in a fire pit, which brought in more drinkers.
Soon I had to expand and now for bigger events, I have
SgtMacsBar Auxiliary. Due to the size
of the Hole, city code would not allow me to add on to my building, so I use
the one next door. I guess that’s why we
call it the “Hole”…. You have to enter through the back door and some have
entered, never to be seen again?
I built a nice walkway to the Hole, but put a small pond and
fountain in the walkway, before I realized most of the legs couldn’t swim. I pull out about one a week. I was lucky to find an old paratrooper, Tom,
to bartend at the Hole and the operation’s been running pretty smooth.
Staying within the not for profit guidelines has been
complicated. I manage not to make any
money, however the IRS still requires me to report tips, so I have to put the
tips through the laundry. The tips pay
for the alcohol, which allows it to continue flowing and for me to stay open
and give it away. I’m still not sure how
it works, but I make a living.
I invite you come check out the establishment and tell me
what you think. In my opinion, you’ll
enjoy the two open bars. No, I didn’t
say cash bars, I said open bars…. You want it, you got it! Five Beer Taps……..and Tequila!
Sip or guzzle your choice of nectar at the bar or in the sit
down area next to the fireplace adjacent to the atrium, across from the dance
floor where you’ll enjoy the beauty of the countryside. This beauty may entice you to take advantage
of the outside Beer Gardens.
There’s always room on the numerous outside decks and
covered porches or sit out by the fishing pond.
Fish from the dock or take a walk down the path and fish from
shore. Take a minute on the bridge,
remove your shoes and let your feet dangle in the water as it flows through your
toes to the fishing pond…. Life is good!
If you don’t want to share your water with the fish, enjoy a
splash in the pool, or a stimulating massage in the spa. The hot tub’s always full, but I’m sure
you’ll find room. Of course it goes
without saying; “No Diving from the Porches or Roofs!”
If you don’t want to get wet, maybe you’d enjoy a game of
pool on one of the tables? Maybe some
darts or would you rather play some pinball or a game of Q-Bert? You can always find something going on and
if you’re a gambling man, join the game in the Poker Room.
You can always find something interesting on the fifteen
TV’s and two big screens. CCT will be
highlighted on the big screens and a selection from Pay for View Wrestling and
Ultimate Fighting to Jackass on the TV of your choice.
Add your dollar bill to the ceiling becoming a piece of
SgtMacsBar. Get your picture taken
behind the bar. Sign the GuestBook! You are SgtMacsBar…………
Did you know SgtMacsBar has a Combat
Control Monument
to our KIA and a remembrance to all our deceased within the Brotherhood?
At SgtMacsBar, you can telephone any Combat Controller stateside; Free
of Charge
I hope I have your interest, so why should you come to the open house?
Not for the open bars, golf, gourmet chow, football game,
wine tasting, CCT Movies, Motorcycle Ride, poker, Bloody Mary’s &
breakfast, and much much more, but for the Camaraderie.
Without you, there’s no party! So to entice you, myself and many others have
participated to make cumming a no brainier. As if the Camaraderie wasn’t enough, check
this out!
The only reason I go to reunions is to see you. All the other stuff is great, but you’ll find
me at the hospitality room most of the time.
I thought if I just expounded on that one item, I’d have something. So here it is; SgtMacsBar Open
House & Fun Raiser
SgtMacsBar is the
hugest “Hospitality Room” you’ll enjoy with so many other Combat
Controllers. You’ll want to spend all
your time here, except for a few outside activities; we’re going to bring it
all to you.
It’s always Happy Hour and the Open Bar is being sponsored
by the “Friends of SgtMacsBar” Friday we’re
chowing down on some Wisconsin Brats supplied by Roger James and I’m smoking
some assorted stuff for a great buffet style chow down.
Saturday, the big day, starts off with Bloody Mary’s and
Burritos and then it’s off to Golf, Motorcycle Ride, Casino, Football Game, or
the CCT Movie Marathon. Get back in time
for the Wine Tasting and Poker Tournament, or just enjoy the Free Happy Hour!
Then enjoy the drawing for Free Prizes, Curly Joe and the
Band, and some smoked whole hog that’s been smoking out front since Friday
along with some of the Smokin’ Hermit’s famous smoked beans.
A little more blues from Curly and we’ll have the Bikini,
Salsa Dance contest out on the band stage.
I’ll be checking it out from the hot tub and it’s not over yet. There’s still Bloody Mary’s and Breakfast in
the morning.
Did I mention, it’s all
Free? Thanks to the “Friends of
SgtMacsBar”, everything is Free!
“Friends
of SgtMacsBar”
So, who are these Friends? Rick Jordan, Bob & Brenda
Swisher, Roger James, An Anonymous Party, Ray Cameron, Bill Frankenberger, Art
Lawrence, Steve Williams, Bob Booth, Donnie Mirabile, John "Dancing
Bear" Buck, Emmet Heidemann, Dave Pearson & Razcals, Dan
Packard, Joe Edwards, Sam Scoggin, John Drozdowski, Bob Brennan, Gene Harris, Skip
Arnold, Jim Donaldson, Gary Brock, Steve Weger, John Koren, Bart Decker, Calvin
Markham, Marcus Mallard, Billy White, and many more, click above.
These
friends have donated prizes and money to ensure you have a great time at the
open house and to help “Bring Us All A Little Bit Closer!”
They
are part of the “Fun Raiser” in SgtMacsBar Open House & Fun
Raiser and I hope you can participate.
To make it less painful, some have offered prizes to be raffled as an
incentive to let loose of a few bucks.
These bucks go into the SgtMacsBar Fund and are used to benefit Combat
Controllers and Bring Us All A Little Bit Closer, Trust Me?
The
Rules; All donations receive 1 ea raffle ticket for prizes. For each $100 donated, an extra ticket is
received. Therefore, $500 worth of
Mizzou vs. Ohio Football Tickets would reap 6 chances to win a prize. First ticket drawn gets 1st pick
of prizes and so forth until all prizes are gone.
Additionally; for any donation of $100
or more, I will send you a DVD of the CCT 50th Anniversary Reunion
free of charge. This is my donation to
you and I’m happy to make them. Each DVD
is handmade and I use LightScribe, endangering myself to laser injuries
inscribing each disk personally. Did I
mention ZZ Top’s Favorites Hits are included for your listening pleasure? It doesn’t get any better!
Prizes
are listed at SgtMacsBar Open House & Fun
Raiser and are growing. Do you have a
prize to donate? So far; A Super Knife from
Roger James, Large Eagle Photograph from Art Lawrence suitable for framing,
Styling Ballistic Eyewear from Dan Packard, One of a kind CCT Pen handmade by
Gene Harris, $500 worth of Dinner & Lounge certificates from Dave Pearson
and Razcals, Curly
Joe CD “Urban Shuffle” and another Curly Joe CD “Running From An Angel Of Death”, Signed photographs of
significant CCT Missions in Afghanistan, and more to come.
The
above prizes are for donations received by mail and if you are present for the
Saturday Bash, you have a chance to win more prizes.
The
prizes will range from Free Mizzou vs. Ohio University Football Ticket, CCT
T-Shirts donated by Ray Cameron, Dinner & Drinks from Dave Pearson, Styling
Ballistic
Eyewear
from Dan Packard, Signed photographs of significant CCT Missions in Afghanistan, and
more.
Did
I mention a Free SgtMacsBar Gold Coin?
Just drop your business card in the pot for a free drawing.
Don’t have a business card, make one! I just want your name.
How
much is your name worth? At SgtMacsBar
your name is always worth a conversation and I want “your
name”. You’ll find over 300 Combat Controllers names
in SgtMacsBar and I want to put yours on the “Friends of
SgtMacsBar” Poster and
advertise it at the open house.
To
do this, I need your donation by the end of August, so the poster can go to
print and be ready for the open house.
Of Course donations are accepted 24/7, but I want your name posted in
SgtMacsBar, please donate today.
You’ve
noticed all monetary values at SgtMacsBar are converted to the Beer Scale. I’ve gone from kegs ($85.00) to cases
($20.00) for a cheap one and I’ve run dry.
I
have just over 20 guys supporting the whole operation at this time. No problem, the mission will succeed, however
I hope you would like to participate. I
know it’s hard with the gas prices the way they are, so I’m hoping you can help
with a 12 Pack? Around here they go from
anywhere between $11.35 to $14.50. If
you have an extra 12 Pack, please help and be a “Friend of SgtMacsBar!”
This
Fun Raiser is not about quantity, but about names and I want
yours. Is it worth a 12 Pack? If so, stop what you’re
doing and write me a
check right now. Hell, just send money;
if it gets lost tell me and I’ll add your name to the Friends
List and I’ll cover
you for the 12 Pack, you’re my buddy after all
…… If you need the bucks for a 12 Pack, let me
know and I’ll cover that too!
SgtMacsBar
is 5 short of 400 members, and so far 20 have supported this mission. I’m not too impressed, but the 20 I have are
very impressive and the mission will be accomplished! I’m lucky to have so few friends.
The above numbers are skewed a bit and it’s my fault. I’m kinda dissing some of my best friends and
I need to correct that right now.
I have the “Friends of SgtMacsBar”
Poster deadline at the end of August and those of you attending so far; Roger & Sheila James, Charlie & Libby
Mason, Linda & Bill Frankenberger, Steve & Lynne Polofka, Randy &
The Lovely Lisa Schlotman, Steve & Micki Weger, Gary & Pam Brock, Steve
& Shirley Williams, Tim & Nancy Brown, Bill Covington , Jim & Jean
Keen, Ray Cameron, Gene Harris, Ralph Thomas, Steve Cardwell, and I hope to put
your name HERE! You may have missed the opportunity of tipping the bartender
early, thereby excluding your name from the poster. Tip Early and join the “Friends of
SgtMacsBar” Poster………
It gets
you on the poster and gives you another chance of winning a prize, diabolical. And all you can eat and drink, plus doubling
your chance of winning a prize….. You must be in Heaven or at SgtMacsBar? Did I tell you about the pickled eggs?
Talk about Heaven, Miss Missouri,
the future Miss America
was going to attend for photos and a little Camaraderie, but due to alcohol consumption
and the Police Chief being on premises, and Sarah, being the law abiding
citizen she is (20 Years old and available), she’ll obey the No Minors Allowed
Statute and stay on the street.
I think I finally
have a deal with the Chief. The Fire
Chief set my capacity limit at 200, but has given me a one time exemption for
250 and the 50 extra spots are going to be available through the Mayor, who
just happens to be the Chief’s boss. I’m
scratching backs all through the state and more to make this happen.
The Puerto Rican Ambassador has finally given up, but the Governor’s
getting involved now. Matt’s offered up
a couple of FEMA Trailers he’s moving from St Louis
to Kansas City. Seems they could be lost in Columbia
for a while and probably set up for complete services, compliments of FEMA. I heard
there may still be a few Comp Cards left for the Isle of Capri Casino. Those are usually reserved for those who
proclaim themselves indispensable to government waste.
I’m excited, with all the incentives available to you and I
hope to get six or seven donations from you guys enabling me to add another keg
to the festivities. Damn, if all of you
could have it so easy, my only worry being where my next beer will come
from. Life is good and I hope to share
it with you.
To hell with the bucks, To hell with the names, Just show up
and have some fun on the “Friends of SgtMacsBar!”
Please don’t show this letter to
my therapist.
For those that suffer mentally, Curly is the best
medication and has agreed to play until the noise police throw him out….. as
long as his CD’s disappear @ a few bucks a piece and his Tip Jar remains
full. Note; The Chief is in charge of
the noise police and Governor Matt’s a Curly Joe fan, I don’t see any
problems………..
If you can’t make it, give me the details and I’ll try to
change them around so you don’t miss out.
This is not a Squadron Party, even though I hope the 123rd is
here in full force, I don’t advocate drinking in limited quantities; there’s always
a place to crash at SgtMacsBar Open House & Fun
Raiser
For more information,
please check the website; SgtMacsBar
Open House & Fun Raiser or contact me for details…… SgtMacsBar@aol.com
Did I mention Gary Brock will be at the open house? Gary’s
a CCTer from the Viet Nam
era and owns www.aaembroideryinc.com and
embroiders numerous CCT and Airborne Designs.
Your imagination is his inspiration and your design is a reality waiting
to happen. Come meet Gary
or contact him at the above website; being unique is just a stitch away…..
custom designs, no problem!
I have a few autographed pictures of significant CCT Events
in the working for prizes and solicit any prizes from you that may incite an
influx of bucks. If you’d like to get
involved, I think you’ll feel better….. try it, you’ll like it!
So, Sherry, I hope I’ve answered your question; “Is Sgt Mac's Bar a real bar where people go to socialize,
drink and be entertained? I thought it was just your email address.
Duh. Where is it located? Are you the bartender and Jill the
barmaid?”
If you’re not entertained I haven’t accomplished my mission
and yes, SgtMacsBar is more than an email address; it’s a congregation of a
bunch of tough guys who allow you to sleep safe at night and Jeremy is one of
us…… I’ll see you in November!
I anticipate seeing the rest of you in September and I hope
to add your name to the “Friends of SgtMacsBar” Poster Bringing Us All A Little
Bit Closer…….. I have an outline of what I expect the poster to look like, and
you can see I have a ways to go.
Please check the website for continuous updates. I have only listed those who have committed
to coming and will only list you once committed. I understand it’s hard for some of you to
plan this far ahead, but we’re only talking two months. Let me know ASAP, I have commitments to
attend to.
I was really glad to see so much interest in Curly Joe and
he gave me a couple of CD’s to give away.
Most of you probably saved the Open House Flyer I sent out, Curly’s
pictured in it and if you bring it, you might just get his autograph.
Coincidence; The Banker just called and offered me free
libations and tickets to Credence Clearwater Revisited on the 23rd
of this month. Hunting for an invite to
see Curly Joe?
You have the invite, Deal or No Deal?
Help me build the poster
Send bucks today…